Monday, December 12, 2011

"We Need to have a Talk" by Guest Blogger, Kim Whitt

My boyfriend and I had an issue come up in our 1 year old relationship. So, I spoke those dreaded words... "We need to have a talk." I boldly went over to him, presented a "readers digest" version of our issue, and promptly asked him..."So... what do you think?" He said, "I don't know... I'll have to think about it!" So... I gave him 5 seconds to ponder the issue as I stood there expecting a prompt answer. Once again I asked him, a bit more impatiently... "So, what should we do about this?." Once again, he looked at me with a bit of impatience in his eyes, raised his voice a bit and said, "I don't know... I'll have to think about it." I very patiently... gave him 10 more seconds and repeated the same question. This time, he raised his voice, furrowed his brow, and gave me the same answer more articulately and impatiently said..."I DON'T KNOW, I'LL HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT." I knew we were getting nowhere!

At the time, I felt he was just "pushing me away" emotionally. I felt he did not care, because he could not give me an instant answer! Years later... after studying personality types, I realized that my previous assumption of his response was dead wrong! He was not putting me off, or ignoring me. As a matter of fact, he was actually honoring me with his answer. You see... introverts must "think about" an issue, before they speak. Being that introverts (are the original inverters of "the cave,") they must go away to their "cave" for a few hours or days. They have to analyse the answer, go through every possible scenario for a possible solution, choose the best answer, and present it to me after it has been well thought out. Me, being the extravert that I am, will figure out the solution as I'm talking in the moment.

Had I understood personality types better, I would have been touched at his willingness to honor our relationship by actually being willing to take the time to "think about" our problem and dedicate the next several hours to its solution. Understanding this aspect alone could have changed our relationship immensely when it came to the area conflict. Could understanding personality types completely change your relationship? You bet! These little gems of information can change a relationship instantly... if you only know what they are.

If you would like to come to a teleconference or a seminar on "Personality Dating" or "Unlocking the Secrets of your Mate's Personalty" you can email Kim Whitt at kwhitt7@gmail.com. If you would like to schedule a seminar or to see when the next one will be, you can contact Kim Whitt at 916-708-9048. Change your relationship from "loser to lover" today!

Kim Whitt
KimWhitt.com
916-708-9048

Man coach, Destiny Trainer and Dating expert!

No comments:

Post a Comment